


Sweet Dreams

by Megatraven



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Chat Blanc - Freeform, Gen, Nightmares, death mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 06:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21503035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megatraven/pseuds/Megatraven
Summary: Adrien dreams of being akumatized, thankful to know it’s only a dream when he wakes up.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 9
Kudos: 122





	Sweet Dreams

Sometimes, Adrien dreams. He dreams of his mother, her sweet laugh amidst the sound of her coughing. Her touch, that put his very soul at ease. Her love, endless, and so true that it threatened to smother on more than one occasion- not that he ever minded.

He dreams of finding her again, but that parts always less pleasant. In some secret room in his own house, he stumbles into her, her body in a glass case, on display like she were a doll on a shelf. He’s never alone when he dreams this- Ladybug is always there beside him. Ladybug, who is sometimes Marinette, because who else would he substitute in for her identity other than his everyday Ladybug herself? But Hawk Moth is there too. Hawk Moth, who his sleeping mind decided was the perfect role for his father to take. (Perhaps the doubt from when Ladybug accused him of it still niggled in the back of his mind, where he dared not to go.)

Discovering his mother like that- well, it’s always shocking and terrifying at the same time. He’s always hit with a wave of grief and anger and pain, feeling it magnified when Hawk Moth takes his chance to akumatize him. His suit becomes white, and his mind begins to fall apart at its seams.

And then- then there’s always that awful moment, where it’s a choice he has to make. His father, his mother. His lady- his Marinette, one in the same in this dream.

He can never choose. How could he? How could they make him? He _can’t._ So he never does. And in his indecision, each and every time, he hurts them both. Kills them with the power granted by both miraculous and akuma alike. A power he never thought of as _evil_ until he dreams it. Until he wipes out the entire city, all of his friends, his mother who until then _did_ have life, anyone who might ever care about him.

They all die to his power.

And he wishes that the dreams would end there- but they never do. They keep going, days, weeks, months passing by. Not a single soul ever comes. He wanders the ruins of the city, a massive graveyard that floods over time.

He memorizes the locations of each of his friends, time and time again. It’s the least he could do, to remember where they died. What they’d been doing.

(Nino and Alya- they’d been on a date, not a worry in the world. They were dancing, he could tell. Alya was frozen in the air, mid-twirl. Nino held her up. And Chloe, she’d been hugging her parents after having a long talk with each.

They were so happy, they couldn’t prepare for it all to end in the blink of an eye.)

It hammers in a simple fact: he is really and truly alone.

He may not drown in the water, but he drowns in his misery and loneliness, losing more and more of himself each passing hour until the only thing left of him is the akuma, and the goal it put into his mind. A goal that he could never even achieve, for he had killed what made it possible.

Sometimes, he tries to fulfill it anyways. He swims into the waters and tries to grab the miraculous. But whenever he touches her, she washes away, nothing more than ash. Her earrings are gone. She’s gone.

He finds himself back on the Eiffel Tower, day after day. The clock ticks by, and he grows closer and closer to simply ending it all. It’s the last thing he can do.

And then- against all logic, though he supposes dreams hardly have such a thing, Ladybug is there again. She’s there, and alive, and- and with her miraculous. He _needs_ it.

He needs it so bad that it hurts, and it’s all he can think about. That, or she forces his hand, and there won’t be anymore pain either way. He fights her, any voice inside that might have warred against such thoughts long gone. 

But she always wins. Even in his dreams, he can’t conceive of a victory that doesn’t belong to Ladybug. So she wins, and she steals the akuma away at long last, taking it and leaving behind the husk of a boy who never should have existed in the state he now did.

Ladybug disappears soon thereafter, and everything fades away.

Adrien wakes up after that, sweat soaking through his shirt and sticking his hair to his forehead. He sits up, and he twists his ring, searching for solid ground again. Once he finds it, and feels his heart slow down, he leaves bed, making sure not to jostle Plagg.

He always goes to his father’s study, even when he begins to forget what for. He stares up at the painting of his mother, something twisting in his heart, and he reaches out for it- there was a secret there, right?

“Adrien, what are you doing in here?”

He snaps his hand away and turns around, Gabriel’s voice shattering the trance he’d been in.

“Oh, father! I was just looking at mother again.” He turns back to the painting as he says this, and stays staring at it until Gabriel comes over, setting a hand on his shoulder. “I miss her.”

They stand there for a moment before he pushes Adrien to turn away. “Do not come in here without permission again, Adrien.”

“Yes, father...”

Adrien leaves the room, shutting the door gently behind him. He couldn’t remember why he’d gone in there in the first place- there was a better picture of her on his computer anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Comments and Kudos appreciated!
> 
> This story was based around the idea of Adrien maintaining his memories of the events of Chat Blanc, but only finds that they manifest in his deepest dreams. He never remembers them long enough to do anything about them or talk about them to someone else.


End file.
